The Fantasylander's Guide to Roundworld
by Temple Cloud
Summary: As the Multiverse Tour becomes a more popular holiday option, The Tough Guide to Fantasyland publishes an appendix on one of the most important destinations: Roundworld.


In recent years, the Multiverse Tour has become an increasingly popular option, hence this updated edition of _The Tough Guide to Fantasyland_. It is obligatory for everyone on the Multiverse Tour, wherever else they visit, to pass through Roundworld at some point. Therefore we feel it helpful to offer some information for Tourists.

**Background:** Roundworld is known by many names, including World 12B, The Other Universe, or Earth. Visitors from Roundworld to elsewhere in the multiverse are often Children and may not have travelled much on their home planet, in which case they will refer to their home world simply by the name of the place they came from. This is likely to be suspiciously similar to a place-name in your own world, e.g. 'England' for a country that resembles Anglia.

Roundworld is one of the worlds of Series 12 in the Related Worlds, but also has routes connecting it to many other important places, such as Arth, the Koryfonic Empire, Oz, Narnia, Talia, Landover, and even the Discworld. Roundworld was originally created by Wizards at Unseen University, Ankh-Morpork, as an experiment to see how a world without Magic would function. The Wizards devised a way to project themselves into this experimental world to examine it more closely, and since then, it seems to have taken on a life of its own.

**Children:** Roundworld children make ideal inter-world travellers, as, by contrast with their parents, they are intelligent, open-minded, resourceful, gentle and considerate to creatures smaller than themselves, and fearless when meeting creatures much larger, such as Dragons. It is always worth inviting a Child to come with you on your Tour, ideally an orphan whom no-one is likely to miss. He/she (or, better still, a whole group of children) will rise to the challenge of Saving the World, without whining about not liking the local food or missing their favourite television programme. The exception is, of course, the Spoilt Brat.

**Cosmology:** As the name suggests, Roundworld is shaped like a ball, which may be disconcerting if you come from a flat planet. Consequently, the Management have to arrange for gravity to work differently here. Instead of things falling down, which would cause people to fall off the bottom of the planet, they stick to the nearest large object, which, conveniently, happens to be Roundworld.

Roundworld orbits a sun much larger than itself, which it takes a year to travel around, and Roundworlders believe that this causes the changing seasons. This is background world-building which the Management have added purely for purposes of exoticism, and which you can forget as soon as you have read it. The sun is enchanted to give the Illusion of rising and setting once a day in the normal fashion, and most Roundworlders seem to forget their own background, as they refer to 'sunrise' and 'sunset'. Despite the fact that this Illusion suggests that there must be powerful Wizards at work, most Roundworlders refuse to believe in Magic.

**Healers:** Roundworlders are quite skilled in Healing, so if you have an injury that cannot be cured on your world (say, a broken leg that wasn't set properly, and left you permanently crippled), it is worth travelling to Roundworld to seek treatment. The Healer may respond by cutting you open, rather than giving you a healing potion, but don't worry; he/she will give you drugs to take away the pain first, and will sew you up again when he/she has finished. It helps if you are human, as they may be unfamiliar with other species' anatomy. If you are a centaur, griffin or similar, it might be better to consult a veterinarian rather than a doctor of humans.

**Invaders:** Because of its exposed position, coupled with the fact that most Roundworlders do not believe in Magic, Roundworld is particularly vulnerable to manipulation by groups of aliens, gods, gamers who use Roundworlders as action figures, and so on. You are unlikely to meet more than one group of these in any one Tour, and they appear to be unaware of each other's presence. However, as some groups have not succeeded in conquering more than one town, it is possible that they are keeping out of the way of their more powerful rivals.

**Magic: **There is a popular misconception that magic does not work on Roundworld, and that sentient non-humans are not found here. In fact, Roundworld has numerous pockets of Magic Users, fantastic beasts (especially Dragons), and Little People. The Magic Users may be living either incognito among non-magical neighbours, or in magical communities warded against ordinary Roundworlders. The Dragons live in remote locations, and the Little People live under the floorboards in human buildings.

Nonetheless, the ambivalent magical atmosphere may cause spells which were reliable on your own world to function erratically or not at all on Roundworld. This can be very embarrassing, especially if you were a much-dreaded Dark Lord or Dark Lady back home. However, most Roundworlders other than Children will fail to notice anything odd, so don't worry too much.

**Roundworlders:** No Roundworld adults will take much notice of you, as they are spectacularly stupid, unobservant, and incapable of believing anything that doesn't fit in with their current worldview. In spite of their apparent obtuseness, however, they have the power to create some quite impressive Technology, and some are skilled Healers.

A few Roundworld adults may recognise you for what you are, provided they are Magic Users or cryptozoologists working to conserve endangered magical creatures, or have been inter-world Tourists themselves when younger (see Children).

**Technology:** Much of this simply replaces magical devices (for example, 'phones' and 'Skype' make non-magical substitutes for talking pools and mirrors). Sometimes it is actually an improvement; for example, 'aeroplanes' are a kind of flying chariot which can be much more spacious and comfortable than carpets, broomsticks, or dragons. Unfortunately, Roundworld rulers, like Dark Lords everywhere, are often inclined to use Technology to kill large numbers of people, very unpleasantly, from as far away as possible. Whether these rulers are Good, Evil, or Neutral makes little difference to their eagerness to possess these weapons, only to their willingness actually to use them.

**Spoilt Brat: **This is a very young member of the Tour Party, usually a child who joined it by accident (perhaps tagging along behind older siblings or cousins). He is probably male. He can be quite funny and endearing at times, but is mostly just very hard work, as he is stroppy, wilful and argumentative, constantly demands his favourite food, and is likely to disobey instructions at the worst possible moment.

Occasionally, a Spoilt Brat may be entrapped into becoming a spy for the Dark Lord or Dark Lady, especially if bribed with sweets. More probably, however, he is fiercely loyal to those he loves, and, despite being totally self-centred most of the time, has a hidden heart of gold. He will probably improve over time, and may play an important part in Saving the World. As he matures, he is likely to be patient with other people's faults, because of being painfully aware of what a nightmare he himself was to start with.


End file.
